DQ Something Different

Mar 11, 2008 Author: Ayesha | Filed under: Uncategorized

In March of 2005 I went to a local Dairy Queen with an old friend of mine that I’ve known since I was in 2nd grade, Karen. We had met earlier for lunch, and decided to follow up with some ice cream. After going through two years of college, it was nice to know we hadn’t lost touch. We were still capable of laughing, joking, talking, and relating to one another. I was really enjoying my time catching up with her.

I had ordered my ice cream and sat down when the following occured: (as retold in my old blog)

We were carrying on a normal conversation, plenty of stupid jokes and funny memories. In the middle of all my laughing, I kept seeing this boy, about 11 years old, gawking at me. He was staring. Everytime I looked, his eyes were fixed on me. It was quite rude. And I thought to myself, “Where does this kid get his manners from?” Of course, I looked over at his father, and his old man’s staring at me, too. Let me tell you, it definitely wasn’t because I’m some sort of stunning beauty.

Nope, here in homogenized milk white Northville, they were staring at me because I looked so different. After a while, I started smiling at the man and his son, hoping that they’d realize that I saw them giving me dirty looks. I thought that if I was smiling, they’d realize I was a nice person, and stop looking. But did it work? Nope. My smiles recieved more glares.

I just don’t get it. What was so different about me? I was a 19 yr old girl, out getting some ice cream with an old high school buddy of mine at a local Dairy Queen, in the town where I grew up. I was laughing and smiling just like any other person. But at the end of the day, I’m something different?

I always remember that moment, because I felt so aggrevated with that boy and his father. After living in Northville for so long and feeling completely well adjusted, all it took was one rude little boy and his equally ill mannered dad to make me feel paranoid, and alienated.

Why am I mentioning this event now, after almost 3 years? Because something happened to me AGAIN, at the SAME Dairy Queen, with the same friend.

Karen and I met up with some old high school friends for dinner today. And after eating, we again decided to get some ice cream, just like the last time. We ordered what we wanted, grabbed a table by the window, and got to laughing, talking, joking, etc. We were all catching up and enjoying our company. Everything was normal until…

…THUD! THUD! THUD!

Two high school girls who had just left the store thought it’d be hilarious to pound on the window, from the outside, right where my head was and scare me. They ran off laughing hysterically.

And right after they finished I was back to feeling alienated and different.

I know that I’m probably reading too much into it, and I’m quite possibly over reacting, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I keep thinking about that son, his father, and now these two girls, and how all it takes is four people at a Dairy Queen to make me feel paranoid and out of place.

I hate that they have that power over me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

9 Responses for "DQ Something Different"

Waasiq March 11th, 2008 at 10:10 pm 1

Glare back at them for being normal, because that will definately help.
SaqibSaab March 11th, 2008 at 10:35 pm 2

Glad tidings to you. The Prophet (SAW):

“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.” (Muslim)

We all know the Hadith, but it’s when you’re being made the stranger that it’s important to remember and try and find comfort in it.

So glad tidings to you.
an-Nawawi March 11th, 2008 at 10:37 pm 3

Islam began among a few individuals, then it spread and prevailed, then it will reduce in numbers until there are only a few left, as it was in the beginning.
Sana March 11th, 2008 at 11:38 pm 4

Move to Chicago already.

I love you, Ayesha Siddique. You know, I’ve noticed that out of everyone, kids stare the most. The thing with them, though, is once you look at them and smile, they turn away with an awkward expression.
Works every time
meghan rose March 12th, 2008 at 10:00 pm 5

i was so happy to see a new post from you today - i started reading your blog recently alhamdulillah, and i just wanted to let you know that i enjoy reading your entries.

i can’t speak to it because i haven’t experienced too much alienation due to keeping hijab, although i live in a conservative area, and i am about as whitebread american as they come…but what you posted just hit me hard. i’m sorry you are dealing with this. the quote from the prophet salallahu alayhi wa salaam about strangers just rings so true to me too when thinking/hearing about things like this. i hope that you are able to overcome this and not let things like that make you feel alienated, because for every one person like the people who stare or try to embarrass/scare you, there are plenty more who love you and want you to be there and feel welcome, i am sure.
Aliya March 14th, 2008 at 11:55 pm 6

maybe they really WERE staring because you’re a stunning beauty :).
fati March 15th, 2008 at 6:50 am 7

First, Waasiq’s advice in this situation is almost as valuable as Saqib’s. Haha.
Second, normal is over-rated and boring and brought to you in part by the letter “L” for Lame.
Third, high-school aged girls in the Northville-Novi-Plymouth area will stare at anybody who’s NOT in the Aryan nation. So, unless you want to be goose-stepping and dressed sort of like a UPS worker, make like a donut and roll with it.
Finally, I know a guy. So, if anybody’s giving you a hard time, just say the word.
Stranger March 18th, 2008 at 8:13 pm 8

I just remind myself I would never really want to fit in with those people who are against me for being Muslim. There will ALWAYS be haters…no matter what we do, can’t please everyone.

Remember the story of the boy, his father, and the camel. First the father was riding the camel with the boy walking at the side, people passed by and said, “What a shame! Father is making the poor little boy walk while he relaxes on the camel”. So the father got off and let his son ride on the camel. Once again people passed and said, “What a shame! The boy has no respect for his father, he is riding while the father walks!” So the boy got off the camel and began walking with his dad. Once again people passed by laughing and saying, “What silly people! They have a camel and they are both walking!” So the boy and his father finally decided to both climb on the camel. Once again, the people passed by saying, “Poor camel! A man and a young boy both at once!! Tsk Tsk.”

So basically, no matter what they did, someone was displeased. We will never be able to please everyone. So the thing for us to be learnt from this, is that the ONLY being we should TRULY worry ourselves about pleasing, is Allah swt. Once that is our goal…what others think does not even hold significance.

Think about the Prophet sws, One of the enemies of Islam put animal intestines on him just for praying in front of the Ka’aba Imagine our dear Prophet was dealt with in that manner, who are we? Of course the behavior of those people mentioned in your stories is sad, but remember, they are not Muslim, they have not had tawfeeq to know anout huqooq al ibad, they don’t know the rights of other humans, they don’t have the taqwa.

When people look at me funny, I actually feel really happy, because I know that what I’m doing is for Allah and to please Him, and if people are treating me badly for it, all the more sawaab for being patient !

In the beginning it’s hard, but once you get used to it, you don’t even notice or care…life is short, and just a test, we can make dua for those who treat us badly, for Allah swt to guide them. Imagine how life is in this big world if one is misguided, it really makes you feel sympathy (not an arrogant kind! because at the end, its the Mercy of Allah that WE are guided!) when that thought comes to mind.
Osman May 27th, 2008 at 4:44 pm 9

Here’s an old Osman and Saif bit to cope with WWII vet stinkeye-
-start making scary foreign language sounds loud enough for pops to hear
-hold one finger high in the air as if issueing a decree
-generously sprinkle the word “amreeka” throughout your conversation