A few weekends back, I was at a wedding where I got to meet up with some old college friends.  I was excited to see them and catch up on what was going on in their lives.  It seems one of them has had a pretty interesting past few months moving out to the Big Apple and working on something that she is really passionate about.

We got to talking about all of that, and somehow the conversation took a turn for the bad.  She got really upset (teary eyed!) as she explained to me her frustrations with… aunties.  It seems that since she graduated and started working, every time an aunty asks her what she is doing in life, they didn’t really care about what they asked, they just wanted to know when she is planning on getting married.  Which I guess isn’t such a big deal, because my friend does in fact want to get married one day, as soon as the right person is presented to her–but that isn’t what the aunties asked her about.  They asked her about what she is currently doing in life, so she happily tells them.   They, meanwhile, are trying to redirect the conversation towards what they find to be a more important subject… why aren’t you married yet? (more…)

The following is a list of questions that you should never ask anyone: 

1. What happened to your face?
2. How much do you weigh?
3. I haven’t seen your spouse in a while, where is (s)he these days?
4. Are you pregnant?
5. Did you find a job yet?
6. Weren’t you married?
7. Is all that food for you?
8. You’ve put on some pounds, huh?
9. Is that what you’re wearing to the party?
10. Did your parents mind that your spouse is from [insert region of the world here]?

By the way, all of these questions weren’t directed at me.  I’ve heard others being asked and it made my jaw drop.

Please feel free to add to this list.

I’ve been feeling recently that getting that Ramadan feeling has been a little difficult for me.  I feel like my Ramadan “Power Hours” are very limited.  What are Ramadan Power Hours?  It’s the time between sunset and sunrise–the time when it really feels like Ramadan.  Why?  Because you break your fast with your family.  You pray maghrib together.  You share a meal.  Then you go to the masjid to pray tarawih in a large congregation.  You get to a hear beautiful recitation of the Qur’an for an hour.  Then you come home, try to read some more Qur’an on your own.  Wake up a little extra early before sahur to pray some tahajjud.  Eat sahur because it’s the sunnah of the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasalaam.  Pray fajr at the masjid, and then it’s done.  Eight power hours have flown by.  That’s a lot of activity to cram into eight hours, especially if you consider that at a minimum you try to sleep for about four hours of that time.  That’s not a lot of time to feel Ramadan.  And also, try as I might to feel Ramadan during the day time, all I can feel is my hunger and tiredness.

I guess that’s the most important part about the last 10 days or Ramadan.  Really cutting back on the luxury of sleep and using the few eight Power Hours of night we’re given to truly feel Ramadan and worship Allah in the best possible ways.  Here are some of activities that are easy to do, that I like:

1)  Making extra dhikr at any free opportunity–really restrain yourself from useless talk (especially gossip).  Just saying something as simple as subhanAllah wa bihamdihi, subhanAllah al atheem is light on the tongue but heavy on the scales

2) Read Qur’an as a form of dhikr–recite it outloud and try to make your voice beautiful.  Then make sure to read the meaning to get the most benefit from the activity.

3)  Pray in the last third of the night–even if it’s just one set of two rakaah.  Take advantage of your sajjud and closeness to Allah by asking Him for ANYTHING for this life and the next.  Be honest with yourself and realize that He is truly the only One who can give any of us what we want, and more importantly, what we need.

4) Make du’aa for your parents–you and I both know they deserve it.

Allahumma a’inee ‘ala dhikrika, wa shukrika, wa husni ibadatik! (O Allah, help me remember You, expressing gratitude to You and worship You in the best manner, ameen.)

Two Sundays ago Saqib and I went to the Islamic Center of Naperville to attend its second installment of the lecture series Ramadan Reminders entitled Paths to Remembrance.  This lecture/class was given by AbdelRahman Murphy.  Two things impressed me.

First:  AbdelRahman did a couple things from a speaker’s end vital for a good event.

1)  The speaker was on time (read, early) greeting people as they came in–this is VERY important as a teacher.
2) The speaker was prepared and organized with a power point presentation–also VERY important when teaching.  It shows your audience/students that you cared to prepare something a head of time, that it required thought, and effort.

(more…)

Ramadan Mubarak!   A blessed month is upon us.  A month in which the gates of Jannah are open, and the gates of Jahannam are closed.  A month in which any obligatory act can earn up to 70 times its normal reward.  A month in which there is a night worth 1,000 nights.  A month in which people are more generous and caring with one another.  And a month in which people over eat until their guts busts open, they can’t bend to make rukuh properly, and cannot focus properly in prayer, mubarak!  It’s time to bust out the Pepto (more…)