Allah fashioned the human, as well as every type of creature, to naturally interact with similar creatures. The closer these two creatures are, the more they will interact and become similar to each other in their manners and characteristics, to the point that one would be unable to distinguish between them except in terms of their physical appearance. –ibn Taymiyyah

Consider my interaction with high school girls.  Now on a regular basis we have a very, “I’m the teacher, you’re the student” kind of relationship.  I give them homework, they do it, turn it in to me, I grade it and turn it back to them, we rinse and repeat if desired.  That’s our daily routine.  But every once in a while, I’m given the opportunity to hang out with the girls, away from the instruction, and be with them when they aren’t students, but just… girls.

Yesterday at work we had our Eid celebration which included the girls going bowling and then to Old Country Barf-fest.  When we first got to the bowling alley, I was pretty calm and chill, sitting with the other teachers and acting “my age.”  After a while I got kinda… I don’t want to say bored, but I guess fidgety.  So I hopped up off my seat to go mingle with my students.  I figured now was the perfect time to get to know them, outside of the classroom, away from all the homeworulerk, quizzes, tests and disciplining.

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A few weeks ago I was talking to my husband about Eid in Illinois.  I was a little nervous about how it would be for me, as it was the first time I would be celebrating Eid without my parents in a different state.  I innocently asked him, “What exactly do you do here?”  He grinned and said, “Nothing.”  Apparently Eid in Illinois consists of going for prayer and then eating Biryani followed by hanging around your own house.  There’s nothing wrong with that, of course:  to each his own.  But for me, I need a little something extra.

So I sat down and thought about what we do in Michigan, and figured,  if I couldn’t go to Michigan for Eid, I’d have to bring a Michigan Eid to Illinois.  I called up some friends and invited them over for an open house… Michigan style.  That meant tables of food and people coming in and out all day long.  Below are some food pictures from the event.

Pasta salad with chicken, carrots, corn, black olives, and mozzarella cheese

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This past weekend my parents and sister came into town to visit both me and my brother.  Friday night we were at my brother’s place for iftar.  My bhabi had made quite a spread of food.  I did happen to think it was quite blog-worthy, despite what she thought.  The food she made hit the spot, after a long day of fasting.  The chocolate cake at the end of the evening was to die-for.  It was the type of cake that when you’re first offered it you think, I’m too full to eat it, but then when you see it, your start thinking about how much milk you’ll need to take it down.  Delicious!

After eating, the men went for tarawih, and I got to spend time with just the girls.  It was a lot of fun unwinding with Ammi, Ummy, Fahma, Hunno, my puhpo and Jenny.  We talked about purses, sales, cooking, and everything girly in between.  I felt so relaxed leaning against the coach in front of my puhpo, having her pinch my cheeks, and tell me I’m made of milai.

When the men came back, the rest of Saqib’s family left back home, but the two of us stayed behind with my family and did a half exchange of Eid gifts.  Basically, nothing was wrapped and things were being pulled out of giant Bed Bath and Beyond plastic bags   One person, who shall remain unnamed, came into the room ho-ho-hoing like it was Christmas time… haraam!  Just kidding, just kidding.

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The administration asked teachers to make themselves more availible to the students who need help, so we have to keep office hours once a week.  Every Wednesday I stay after school for one hour to tutor my students.  This is now the 5th week of school, and since then, I have only seen 2 students ask me for help.  It’s interesting, because these students probably don’t really need that much help, but they just want to ask.  And because they come to my office hours and show me they’re concerned with mastering their skills, I’ve grown to love them more over my other students.

Meanwhile, the masses are still not coming.  And I’m becoming more and more frustrated with them.  Why?  Because they all need my help.  They’re failing quizzes and tests and getting really low scores on the homework that they hardly turn in.  I know they care about their grades, because when I pass back graded assignments, they’re all really upset.  But they don’t do anything about it.  I have repeatedly told them about my office hours, and that I’m availible to meet them on other days too, before, during or after school.  And yet, no one takes me up on this offer.  So, like I said, I’m starting to become frustrated with them because they won’t help themselves by asking for help.

I was thinking, the other day, of the stupidity of the whole situation.  Here I have students in dire need of help, and I’ve made myself availible to them, and they’re not coming or asking.  And then I thought… this sounds familiar.

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I am feeling like a lame-wad.

I *know* I’m not using my time wisely in Ramadan.  Between the physical exhuastion of fasting and the mental and emotional exhaustion of work, I “can’t” find time to do any extra ibadah.  I’m so behind in my Qur’an, and I’ve hardly been to the masjid to pray tarawih.  Sure I’ve prayed at home, but it isn’t the same.  I get tired easily and give up after just a few sets of nafl.

I don’t want to be one of those people at the end of Ramadan that is filled with regret because this amazing opportunity has slipped right past me.  For the past few days it’s all I can think about– I’m going to regret this.  I’m going to regret this.  I’m going to regret this.  And what’s annoying now is that I’m wasting time thinking about how much time I’m wasting!!

So my new policy is that no matter how tired I am from work, no matter how much grading and planning I have to do, no matter how much cooking I need to do for a party, I’m going to let go of my physical exhaustion and turn into a robot.  After all, fasting was prescribed for “just a few days, ” so if I’m tired now… insha’Allah in just a few days, I won’t be.

O you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous -[Fasting for] a limited number of days. (2:183-184)

Even Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is giving us tussalli that it isn’t gonna last forever, so man up and do whatcha gotta do!

Last ten days, here I come!