The Rich Keep Getting Richer, and the Poor Keep Getting Poorer

by Ayesha Posted on December 16, 2008

When I was in high school we had a middle class:  those students who got Cs and would fight for a B.  Nowadays it seems like the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.  The students I teach are either getting As or Ds!!

This, I think, is a result of the mentality that some of the students have when they come to class.  The “poor” if you will just… don’t… care!!  They come to class acting like, “Yea, go ahead, give me an F, I don’t care.”  These are the same students who don’t flinch from referrals, don’t come to class prepared with textbooks and pencils, don’t turn in homework, and don’t pay attention.  What’s their deal?

Continue reading →

Posted in Teaching | Tagged , , , , , | 8 Comments

Epic Wedding? Epic Fail — An Introduction

by Ayesha Posted on December 6, 2008

Welcome to a new series on my blog.

What is an epic wedding?  It’s a wedding where the hosts go the extra mile to make anything and everything an “epic” moment.  From the procession, to the entertainment, clothing, dinner, seating, speeches and decorations.  Everything is made out to be a big “to-do”.

I’ve found that in the past year or so I have attended more and more epic weddings that have been nothing more than an epic fail. In the time I spent planning my wedding I kind of appreciated these weddings because they provided me with examples of what not to do.  But now that I am married, and I still have to attend these epic failures, it’s just getting old.

The interesting thing is that most of these epic weddings are failures based on the following points

  1. Timeliness–guests are forced to sit and wait for the wedding to start for sometimes more than an hour
  2. Program–guests are forced to sit through too many speeches
  3. Seating–guests are forced to sit with or around members of the opposite gender
  4. “Entertainment”–guests are forced to listen to music or live singing
  5. Extravagance–guests are forced to find out just how much money you make and are willing to spend on your kids

Some weddings fail on some of the points, and some weddings fail on all of these points.  Note that all of these failures affect the guests.  When hosts think they are doing something epic, in actuality they are conjuring up ways to make guests uncomfortable and disappointed for 4 (or maybe 5 depending on how late the function runs) hours.

Through this new series I hope to share with you my thoughts on the epic weddings that I attend, one failure at a time.  But I also want to hear about experiences with epic weddings that turned out to be epic failures.  I don’t want to this become a series where I just bash on people who spend a lot of money on weddings.  I want there to be some good to come from this and come up with ways to advise the people on how to make their weddings more Islamically sound and socially acceptable.

So hold on to your ghararahs and shirwanis, because this is going to get interesting!

Posted in Marriage, My 2 Cents | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Can We Please Have Some Extra Credit?

by Ayesha Posted on November 11, 2008

begging.gifThe 1st quarter of school ended about one week ago.  And as you may have guessed it, with that time came a flood of students with a sudden concern for their grades.  These are the students who don’t do any real work all quarter, float through class without a care in the world, never ask questions, participate, or show any genuine interest.  Imagine my surprise when now I find them checking up on grades, and asking for assignments back to see how many points they had earned.

I was happy to see they were enthusiastic about improving, but at the same time very disheartened that they would wait ’til the last moment to show such enthusiasm.  Because really, how much could any student possibly improve a bad grade a week before the quarter ends?

The culminating moment of desperation came on the morning of the last Friday of the quarter.  A student approached me after I had finished teaching a new lesson asking me what in the world she could possibly do to improve her grade.  She absolutely couldn’t take home a D to her parents.  She said she would do anything:  extra credit, assignments, projects, retakes, redos, etc.  I just looked her like, “Are you kidding?”

I picked up a pile of homework that had been turned in that morning and quickly glanced through the papers.  Hers wasn’t in there.  So I asked her, “Did you do your homework?” Continue reading →

Posted in My 2 Cents, Teaching | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

When School Is Out… So Are The Rules

by Ayesha Posted on October 29, 2008

During a recent staff meeting at work, an important issue came up.  More and more girls were not adhering to the dress code by rolling up sleeves, unbuttoning buttons, unpinning hijabs, and wearing makeup.  Us teachers were asked to put our heads together and figure out a way to make all these girls stop breaking the rules.  One or more teachers suggested calling parents and reminding them of the contract they signed at the start of the year, while other teachers thought it would be best to use their class-mates against them, and have their peers remind them not to break the dress code.

As this discussion went on, one of the male staff members raised his hand quietly and simply asked, “Why can’t they wear makeup?”  Immediately an administrator answered it was the school policy.  But he asked again, “But why not?” There was silence.  I thought to myself, What do you mean why not? They shouldn’t wear makeup.  The administrator explained to him all the Islamic values the school was trying to preserve while enforcing the dress code– modesty, not being shallow and vain or competitive, etc.  He then responded with, “Do they know that’s why?  Or do we just tell them, ‘You can’t wear makeup!’?”

Since that time in the staff meeting, the wheels in my head have been turning.  In our school, do we ever explain to the students the reasons for our rules?  Or do we just enforce them and tell them they have to do it?  Do we label our rules as school rules?  Or do we say they are Islamic rules?

I’ve noticed over the course of 9 weeks that the students treat our rules as school rules.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Our rules about cheating, lying, stealing, swearing, dress code, etc, are only restrictions placed on them between 8:30 and 3:30 between our four walls.  So when the bell rings, and school is out… so are the rules.

Continue reading →

Posted in My 2 Cents, Teaching | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments